Setting the bar...

I do words—it’s what I do. My brain goes too fast sometimes for the words to always trip off my tongue like they’re meant too so that I stutter or mumble but it generally doesn’t slow me down. I have points to make, ideas to convey, pictures to paint…so, words. There have been VERY few times in my life when I’ve been at a loss for them. I had one of those times a few nights ago. Someone asked me what they had done to set the bar so high for me. I listened in disbelief as the uhhhs and ummms and errrrs came out of my mouth—MY mouth that’s usually so glib and sarcastic and garrulous--I was literally speechless.

I finished the rest of that meaningful conversation a great deal quieter than I had began it. With the silence, the wheels in my mind whirred madly, jumping and searching, seeking an answer to a question that I still couldn’t wrap my brain around.

I lay in bed after getting off the phone and kept flipping the words around; thinking maybe if I rearranged them or set them in a different pattern they might make sense. I tried adding different nuances to the phrase, stressing each word in turn to hear if it made a difference…”WHAT did I do to set the bar so high?”… ”what DID I do to set the bar so high?” ”what did I do to set the bar so HIGH?” ”what did I do to set the bar SO high?”…not a glimmer of understanding until I left out the “I” and put in a “you”. What did YOU do to set the bar so high? Same question, slightly different perspective and here’s your answer, sweetheart…YOU didn’t do anything, you just taught ME how to raise it.

I have learned that respect shouldn’t be demanded but given as my due. I understand now that MY radar isn’t faulty, just rusty. I’ve been shown that diamonds in the rough are still just as valuable as the ones all polished and set in rings. I’ve learned that I like being myself, my true self, the self only a handful of people in my life have been, as you put it, lucky enough to really know; trying to be anything other than that person is unfair to me and everyone around me. I’ve been taught to keep it simple, embrace spontaneity, grab life by the horns and hang on for dear life. I will never settle for boring or stupid or mean or disrespectful and petty EVER again. I’d rather do without than make do with less than I know I deserve.

So what did YOU do to set the bar so high? Nothing, babe, except stand behind me and steady me while I raised it myself and put it in place.

Thank you.